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Just back from the ***ual health clinic after a one night stand Friday night.

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    [REAL TALK] Just back from the ***ual health clinic after a one night stand Friday night.

    Bloody hell lads!

    Had a few Guinness' Friday night in a local boozer, ended up tapping off with this unsavoury wench. Went back to her abode, where we engaged in tongue kissing, she performed oral on me, then full on rough, drunken ***. Got a taxi home, didn't give her my number or ask for hers. Don't know a surname, only her first.

    My tallywhacker was tender the next morning, and I noticed a few sc****s on my bellend around the foreskin area, she gave an extra toothy blowie lads. Anyway, I went to work and thought nothing of it. Was only after work I also noticed the area around my japseye bit raised and a purple colour, and red dots on the head of my **** almost like blocked pores.

    Since then I've been stressing, self-diagnosing through Google and just expecting the worst. Almost convinced myself I was going to have to live like a leper for the rest of my days.

    Two hours ago I went to the ***ual health clinic, where I was fondled by this really attractive 40 something nurse, and I weed in a jar for analysis. She told me she is certain I don't have herpes, dipped some stick in my wazz and said I'm clear of 2 other things, may have been gonnorhea and something else. And my urine will be tested further to check for a few other things.

    She seemed unconcerned by the symptoms I reported, even when pointing them out to her. Said I don't have anything that couldn't be caused by a bit of drunken friction. "Thank the Gods", I thought. I will have to go back in 4 weeks for complete peace of mind, or if I'm having any symptoms.

    I feel a mixed sense of relief now. I had convinced myself I had picked up all sorts, have even been feeling a bit of discomfort when pissing, but now I'm not sure if I was just imagining it like a placebo effect.

    Anyway. I felt like I was waiting to be strung up on the gallows for the past 48 hours. Nurse seems to think I'm in the clear and have nothing to worry about, but I will get my piss test results back in a couple of days to be 100% sure. Also will be returning for a full screening in 4 weeks just for peace of mind. Lesson learnt here fellas, never again! Anyone have any similar stories?

    #2
    Man that’s a lot of British slang. I haven’t struggled with the English language like this since the first time I read A Clockwork Orange.

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      #3
      Originally posted by _Rexy_ View Post
      Man that�s a lot of British slang. I haven�t struggled with the English language like this since the first time I read A Clockwork Orange.
      TLDR: I fooked dis biatch raw, then woke up scurred I might have AIDs/herpes/syphillis/gonorrhea, etc. Turns out I'm clear of all the worst stuff.

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        #4
        Originally posted by W1LL View Post
        TLDR: I fooked dis biatch raw, then woke up scurred I might have AIDs/herpes/syphillis/gonorrhea, etc. Turns out I'm clear of all the worst stuff.
        Oh yeah, been there. Enough times. Had ********* when I was 23 or 24, but it’s more the scare of waiting the week or two.

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          #5
          Why you f#cking one night hoes raw?!?!?

          Not so randomly I'm a lil f#cking disturbed that so many girls are down for getting it raw with randoms too. I kinda like to see if a new girl is down for raw f#cking before I do anything & if she is that kinda backs me up cuz I'm sure she's not letting me be the first raw visitor so whatever the f#ck he got, she got & I might got it to if I follow through.

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            #6
            Lesson learned I bet.

            Mental to go in raw on a random.

            In the UK the highest percentage of those picking up STI’s are those over 60. Because they’re always going in raw the old lads and lasses because they know they can’t put one in the oven.

            People think it’s the youngsters at risk but it ain’t.

            Blowies are dangerous territory too.

            Messy business, ***. Surprised we aren’t just all walking around with festering private parts.

            Got agree with Eff Pandas if a woman allows someone to go in raw she’s done that before.

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              #7
              Don't trust these hoes.

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                #8
                I'd had a few drinks lads, and this bird was giving me all the right signals. If I was sober I wouldn't have done it how I did, lol.

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                  #9
                  I can tell you don’t get much girls. Everyone knows you need to give it at least two weeks after barebacking to get tested.

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                    #10
                    ur trying too hard to impress

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